BES Co-Founder, Monique McKay, is also the Co-Founder of the Master Mediator Institute.  For any one interested in the program, I have posted more information on our Articles page.

BJM

Our role as the Ombuds for IFFOR, will be receive and respond to complaints and concerns about IFFOR policies and the IFFOR policy process, and we will also be responsible for conducting periodic audits regarding how the ICM Registry – the organization that runs the dot-xxx registry – handles complaints that relate to registrant compliance or non-compliance with ICM Registry and IFFOR Policies.

We have already conducted the first quarterly audit of the ICM Compliance Resolution System for IFFOR and we have created a confidential, online process for individuals to raise complaints and concerns about IFFOR policies and the IFFOR policy process.

We are especially excited by this project because of the international, virtual nature, of the programs we will be working with and how those programs will interact with our own virtual structure. Through this new contract, our Business Excellence Solutions team is working on the cutting edge of virtual ombuds and complaint resolution services. We are excited by the prospect of broadening the base of online and virtual conflict resolution work we do including mediation services, organizational assessment and group conflict resolution, and policy and dispute resolution systems design.

We look forward to working with the ICM Registry and with IFFOR to complete their important missions and to ensure that the user community’s rights as well as their responsibilities are respected and enforced.

Many thanks to Monique McKay for her work putting this announcement together!

BJM/MQK

First and foremost, as mentioned in our last post, we have a new member of our team.  Camilla S. Lopez has joined Business Excellence Solutions as an Affiliate Consultant.  In this role, Camilla will lead a variety of projects and special assignments.  Camilla’s international experience in educational programming design combined with her technical expertise in systems design and her depth of experience working with quality programming, such as the Malcolm Baldridge quality criteria, make her a valuable addition to our team. She also has extensive, hands-on experience as an Ombudsperson and a professional in conflict resolution. Again, we are excited to have Camilla on board and again extend a hearty welcome!

We recently completed the largest portion of our work with the Greater Albuquerque Association of Realtors to help that organization implement its new Ombudsman Program and had were no sooner wrapping up that initiative when we were approached by the International Foundation for Online Responsibility [IFFOR], to help it implement its new Office of the IFFOR Ombudsman. The ombudsman model deployed by IFFOR is quite different than that of our last client, and will be a more “classical” Ombudsman model[1] involving an audit function as well as a complaint resolution function. This will be a rewarding and important initiative and we have an upcoming post to discuss the details of this new relationship. Meanwhile, for more information, you can check out the news release on the IFFOR website at: http://iffor.org/news/ombudsman-announced .

We continue our extensive work as well with the United States Department of the Interior, doing workplace mediations, organizational conflict resolution, training, and executive coaching.  We also continue to serve Los Alamos National Laboratory, facilitating important community information meetings relating to environmental compliance and clean up issues. Also, Bruce MacAllister continues to serve as a mediator for the New Mexico District Court and conducts three to four mediations monthly for the courts.

Because we are a small organization, it is sometimes difficult to keep up with the workload – providing excellent client support and maintaining an active presence on our website.  Our apologies for the lapse in our postings on communication skills!  We simply were overtaken by our workload.  We will continue our postings on communication skills within the next few days.

BJM  March 28, 2012

Camilla S. Lopez

I am delighted to welcome Camilla S. Lopez to the Business Excellence Solutions team! Camilla brings a wealth of experience and talent to the team. She holds a Ph.D. in Organizational Development and has years of experience in a wide range of key areas for our clients including, among many other talents:

• Organizational development;
• Quality assessment and development;
• Conflict resolution expertise;
• Experience as an organizational ombudsman;
• Audit design and implementation; and
• Training and Development expertise.

Camilla has already been a crucial contributor in support of one of our new initiatives working on challenging assignments in support of our new international client.  There will be more about our new client in upcoming postings.  Also, please stay tuned for more postings on communication, brain science in conflict, and many more new topics!

Welcome Camilla!

In my November 2, 2011 blog post, “Update on Recent Activities,” I discussed a new ombudsman program that I had served as the primary consulting resource to help establish. I am delighted to now announce that the Greater Albuquerque Association of REALTORS^®  [GAAR] has launched and has been operating its new Ombudsman Program now since late October 2011.  The program is available as a neutral, highly confidential, non-escalating resource for members of the public to seek answers to real estate transaction questions and to seek information and referrals to other GAAR resources. It is also a resource for REALTOR^® clients and customers to seek assistance in resolving issues and concerns with a real estate transaction, and for REALTORS^® seeking assistance with issues involving a fellow REALTOR^®.

The new program is designed to dovetail into and complement the existing alternative dispute resolution and professional standards processes and services, and provides a convenient one-stop point of entry into those services. The program is based on both the National Association of REALTORS^® and the International Ombudsman Association standards of practice and codes of ethics.

Business Excellence Solutions’ consulting work with the GAAR included working with its key staff, Executive Vice President, and Board of Directors to develop virtually all of the materials necessary to help GAAR implement its Ombudsman program, including:

• A master program implementation plan and schedule;
• Ombudsman Program Overview and Considerations document package;
• Draft Ombudsman Program Charter statement;
• Draft policies and procedures to dovetail the program together with existing services:
• GAAR Board of Directors briefing package;
• A program overview presentation and program orientation for Board members, staff, and interested GAAR members;
• Ombudsman Training Program;
• Case tracking system “dashboard;” and,
• Coaching and troubleshooting throughout the implementation process.

The new program uses a cadre of volunteer REALTORS^®, who serve as the ombudsman staff.  As practicing REALTORS^®,all of the volunteers are experts in real estate transactions and have also received extensive training in mediation and ombudsman practice skills through a twenty hour customized training program designed especially for the new program (there was also a four hour make-up session available to those who were unable to attend each session). The four-part training program focused on key ombudsman skills, including:

• Fundamental tenets of ombudsman practice: confidentiality, neutrality, independence, and informality;
• Ombuds visitor skills: listening without judgment, information gathering, connecting with a visitor and establishing rapport, and developing and testing options with the visitor to help him or her decide on their own best alternatives and approaches.
• Mediation and dispute resolution skills: bringing parties together, facilitating dialogue and problem resolution, framing and reframing, acknowledgement, the role of venting, and separating interests from positions.
• Issue and trend analysis, upward organizational feedback, and awareness of referral resources, and hands-on training on using the customized case management tools, such as the Visitor Intake Form (which is only used to track non-confidential information, such as type of issue, place of referral, outcomes, and similar data), and the Ombudsman Dashboard.

The training program brought together an outstanding faculty of highly experienced, practicing ombudsmen and mediators from the Albuquerque area, who served as instructors, coaches, and mentors to the training program participants. The training team had more than 150 years of collective experience as professionals in dispute resolution.  We used interactive and highly realistic real estate transaction scenarios to provide the participants with relevant, hands-on experience, and to allow them to gain comfort and confidence that they were ready to work with actual cases and real visitors. Initially, each new ombudsman will work under the mentorship of an experienced mediator and ombudsman. Ultimately, each of the nine new GAAR ombudspersons will also participate in continuing professional development sponsored by the International Ombudsman Association, and each has joined the International Ombudsman Association [IOA] as an Affiliate Member. In addition to continuing their professional development as ombudsmen, as GAAR members they will continue their professional development as real estate professionals – thus being ideally suited to perform their GAAR ombudsman roles and responsibilities.

Although the new program only began the last week of October, as of January 6, 2012, its ombudsmen had already responded to 38 general inquiries and requests for referrals and had worked with 14 visitors in follow-up to their initial contact. When asked about how the program implementation went, the program’s coordinator, Deborah Davis said, “We are all excited that it is finally here …  thank you for your encouragement and your experience that helped us understand that the obstacles we faced were fairly typical in starting up a new program such as this.”

One of the great features of the GAAR Ombudsman Program is its “Ombuds Dashboard,” which we at Business Excellence Solutions designed and provided to GAAR. The Ombuds Dashboard is a web-based tool, which, at a glance, will allow the Ombuds staff, the Board of Directors, and the GAAR Executive Vice President (its CEO) to instantaneously access trends, issues, type of resolution, referrals, and outcomes. (See a sample at right.  Note: this is a sample and not real data.) Using an easy-to-use, custom-designed intake and case tracking form, this system will enable its managers and staff to quickly identify trends and patterns that will help the organization and REALTOR^® community continuously monitor and improve the quality of its services and the experience of the public in working with REALTORS^®.

The ability of the Business Excellence Solutions team to provide the depth and breadth of expertise necessary to provide such broad-spectrum support, which ranged from deep and specialized experience in designing and implementing a completely new ombudsman program, to providing a comprehensive training program, to providing the technical and subject-matter expertise necessary to design and deliver the high-tech Ombudsman Dashboard” highlights the adaptable business model we use.  Rather than constraining ourselves to a formalized structure in which our resources are static and inherently limited, the Business Excellence Solutions approach is to maintain a highly fluid and adaptable network of experts that can be called upon as appropriate. Thus, in this case we applied the skills and experience of an entire virtual team of experts with hundreds of years of collective experience in the precise areas needed for this project.  In other projects, our teams have looked very different and are designed to precisely meet the needs of the particular customer.

Special thanks to Deborah Davis, who worked tirelessly to refine and customize the necessary documents, such as the Charter Statement, Ombudsman Program Brochure, and implementing procedures for the new program.  Without Deborah’s deep knowledge of the organization and its culture and procedures, and her own expertise as a mediator and expert in conflict resolution, the program would have undoubtedly never been fully implemented.  Congratulations to the Greater Albuquerque Association of REALTORS^® for its commitment to continuous improvement for customers and for the professional association! It was a pleasure and honor for us to help with this exciting new program!

For more information on the GAAR Ombudsman Program check out http://www.gaar.com/about/ombuds, call 724-3469, or email Ombuds@gaar.com

2011 turned out to be a busy year! During this year we worked with a number of key clients and performed challenging and rewarding work. Among others, clients this year included:

• The United States Department of the Interior;
• Los Alamos National Security, operating Los Alamos National Laboratory;
• The Greater Albuquerque Association of Realtors^®;
• The Santa Fe Business Incubator;
• SAIC; and,
• The New Mexico First Judicial District Court.

Working with these and other outstanding clients we were able to meet many new challenges and, working in collaboration with them, to accomplish many excellent outcomes.  Some highlights of these outcomes were:

• Helping the Greater Albuquerque Association of Realtors^® implement its new Ombudsman program;
• Facilitating very challenging community hearings on environmental impact issues for SAIC for a potential new nuclear facility at Los Alamos National Laboratory;
• Facilitating ten community hearings and community dialogue meetings for other projects under the direction Los Alamos National Security;
• Conducting organizational development and excellence activities for the Santa Fe Business Incubator and facilitating its strategic planning;
• Conducting mediations and coordinating a variety of organizational development and organizational conflict assessments for the Department of the Interior;
• Working with the New Mexico Governor’s Office to explore the viability of an Ombudsman program for New Mexico State Government;
• Conducting a wide variety of conflict resolution, communication, and leadership training and hands-on  staff development training and mentoring for a variety of clients; and,
• Continuing to handle a steady stream of court-referred mediations for the New Mexico District Court.

Along with the challenging workload of client-oriented projects, we also published a number of articles and 23 blog postings! I also had the opportunity to work with several new collaborators on BES projects, including Kelly Hill, an outstanding mediator and life coach, and Camilla Lopez, a former ombudsman and case tracking systems expert.  In addition to my work with new collaborators, I continue to enjoy my long, on-going collaboration with Monique McKay, co-founder of BES and co-founder of the Master Mediator Institute. Monique’s humor, optimism, and intelligence always sustain me during times of challenge or doubt.

All in all it was a very busy year, and I sincerely thank my clients for the continued opportunity to work with them and to help them meet their challenges and achieve their goals. I am especially thankful to have maintained such a full platter of work in the current economic climate.

BJM  – January 5, 2012

So far in our on-going discussion in which we will ultimately offer “Twelve Tips” for effective communication, we have discussed four ways to help you improve your communication skills when they may really matter.  The first point we discussed was to set a goal for your communication.  Then, we talked about visualizing an outcome and developing a plan to accomplish your goal. Third, we discussed one aspect of communication linking to basic preferences as to how we make decisions and interact. In our fourth session, we discussed the role of “listening” in the sense of being alert to all the clues and information that a person conveys, not just verbally, but in their body language, tone, pace of delivery and other aspects of communication.

Today, we will touch on another area of communication, which is actually a corollary to our last discussion.  That is, understanding that communication happens on many levels beyond the words you share. Just as we should listen for all sorts of information when we are involved in an important communication, we likewise have the opportunity to use an amazing variety of tools to enhance the effectiveness of our communication. Much of what we will focus on in the rest of this series of communication-focused discussions will explore these fascinating opportunities.

A number of entire books have been written on the subject of enhancing communication using verbal and non-verbal techniques to enhance our communications. Today’s discussion will offer only an overview of things to come as we pursue our discussion to deeper levels in future posts.  In general, we will focus on tools to build rapport and create congruence in your communications with the other person, when those communications are important to you. The areas we will focus on or discuss in more depth than we have so far will include, among others:

• Proxemics, or understanding how our use of space and proximity to others affects how we come across.
• Framing and the effective use of word choice, archetypes, and metaphors to connect with your listener.
• Neural linguistic programming, or the awareness and use of extremely deep-rooted word choices and learning styles to create a link with the listener.
• Haptics or the delicate art of using touch in appropriate situations.
• Mirroring, matching, pacing and leading both verbally and non-verbally to create subconscious rapport
• A variety of other tips to help build trust and rapport and make connecting and communicating with another easier.

For now, try considering the aspects of communication that we have already discussed – in particular the discussion on interpersonal styles and the comprehensive listening skills we discussed last time.  Try listening to and observing the communication styles of someone who is important to you.  Consider what you see and think about ways that you could use what you have observed to build better congruence with the other.  Can you use your awareness of their approach to decision-making to make it easier for them to feel a connection to you? Can you pace with them so that the other views your conversation has having a natural easy flow?  Can you consciously observe the metaphors and word choices the person makes, and pick words that they resonate with, even though they are not consciously aware of your word choice?

BJM  11/18/11

Listening involves more than just hearing. In this post, our focus is on understanding comprehensive listening: listening in the broadest and most powerful sense.  This concept expanding listening from one of simply hearing another, to one of receiving information from another in the broadest and more informing and enabling sense. In an earlier blog post on “Deep Listening” colleague, David Markwardt talked about listening in the context of a leadership skill and suggested that if readers approached listening with the idea of listening for issues that are important to the speaker and not jumping too quickly into solving the speaker’s problem for them.” David’s focus on developing the “listening muscles” will certainly apply to the larger sense of listening that this article focuses on – understanding listening as an activity that is far broader than solely a function one’s ears.

In an earlier post, I mentioned Dr. Steven Covey and reviewed some of the “habits of highly effective people” in the context of effective communication.  Specifically, I mentioned the notion of seeking first to understand the other. If we can effectively and deeply understand the other, we will be far more effective in meeting our own needs by avoiding the potential barriers created when we inadvertently fail to understand how our needs can be dovetailed with another’s.

Let’s look at some of the components of “comprehensive Listening.” Among the key components of comprehensive listening we will discuss here are listening for the speaker’s:

• Verbal content and expressed needs;
• Emotional content;
• Non verbal content;
• Style, and conscious and subconscious metaphor use; and
• Barriers to trust and rapport and opportunities to bridge them through congruence.

Let’s now look at a brief overview of these skills …

Perhaps the most seemingly obvious listening component is listening to the verbal content of the speaker’s communication. What is she telling me?  While listening for the message conveyed in the words seems obvious, in fact, it can be the most challenging aspect of communication.  Take, for example, the huge difference in meaning between “Yeah right!” when spoken with a smile and excitement versus the same phase spoken with sarcasm and rolled eyes – two completely opposite meanings. While this is perhaps an over-simplified example, challenges to listening to the verbal content of the speaker come in much more subtle forms. For example, in today’s modern e-mail-driven environment, we are left with only the unembellished words. We are left to fill the basic tenor and underlying intention of them on our own.  It is established that we interpret raw information congruent with our own state of mind.  Thus, we can read the same words and impute completely different intentions on the part of the speaker depending on our own mood. Since studies consistently show that, as a part of the total potentialcommunication, the purely verbal, or word-based part of our communications with others typically comprise only around seven percent of our total communication, when weighted together with the paralinqual – that is the expression we place on our words – and the non-verbal components of communication. E-mail has its place in documenting communications, and conveying simple contents.  However, you may want to ask yourself before your next important and complex communication, “is e-mail the way that I want to communicate?

When we listen for emotional content of communication what we observe may be obvious. It could be as obvious as the earlier example of the person saying, “yeah right!” when their rolled eyes and sarcastic expression indicate precisely the opposite meaning. Likewise, a shouted “No!” may be pretty clear in terms of meaning in most contexts. But, often more subtle incongruencies may be imbedded in the communication.  Body language that suggests discomfort, even when the speaker is saying “yes” is a good example. Be alert to the non-verbal signs of emotion that are not in line with the verbal or written message.  It may be changes in the pace of the speaker’s delivery,  or changes in voice tone, a shaky voice, or some signs, obvious or subtle, of discomfort in the speaker.  A long pause before a response may indicate that the person is sifting through emotions to find words. Not jumping in to fill the silence will afford the person time to feel their way through to a response.

Being alert to non-verbal communication and watching the speaker’s body language will provide invaluable information for deeply understanding them and ultimately connecting with them. Is the person facing you and making comfortable eye contact? Is their speech quickened while their shoulders are raised and tight? In another posting, we will discuss additional specific body language issues and tools to use body language to help build rapport. For now, what we are focusing on is “listening” for these signals so that we can learn from the non-verbal message we are “hearing.”

Listening to the way the speaker laces words together and her metaphor choice will provide powerful insights into opportunities to bridge different approaches to communication and to eliminate distracting differences in the approach to conversation.  For example, if the person repeatedly likens the issue they are talking about to a “battle between …” and consistently uses martial metaphors, such as “winning the battle but losing the war…” and other similar metaphor choices, that word choice can inform the listener about the emotional position of the person, and what metaphors you may want to choose to connect with them.  How the person “frames” their concerns and perspectives yields an incredible amount of information and can help you plan your own communication.

Listen for clues in word choice for visual, auditory, or kinesthetic preferences. Individual communication style actually runs deep into the speaker’s subconscious. Whether the person shows a preference for visual word choices, such as “I can see the day when;” auditory choice, like “That idea really clicks for me;” or kinesthetic (feelings and emotions) such as “I just don’t feel right about …” provides amazingly valuable information for you when the time comes to connect with the person when you speak. Don’t forget about the subconscious decision making styles just discussed in our last post.

Finally, stay alert to any signs that become apparent in your listening process that reveal any underlying trust or rapport issues. These may be as simple as obvious differences, such as gender, race, ethnicity, language, or other issues.  Or, they may be far subtler, such as subtle incongruence in communication pace, style, metaphor, and other features.

I hope you will see as the discussion progresses, that all of the tools and approaches we discuss in this series will tie together to provide a comprehensive series of tools to help you sharpen your ability to be a likeable, trusted, effective listener and a persuasive speaker.

BJM  11/11/11

So far, we have discussed two tools designed to help you approach an important communication: setting a goal for the outcome and planning the communication before jumping into it. Perhaps most of us intuitively feel that the best communications seem easy and natural.  They happen almost automatically and so we don’t really think about what makes them work so easily. And yet, should we choose to take the time to evaluate why they work, they are “easy” for a specific reason or several reasons. If you have easy communication with another, it adds little value to “over-think it.”  If it is working, then there is frankly little reason to mess with it.  The series of postings on Tools for Communication are designed to help you evaluate the sources for communication challenges and to provide tools and approaches to help when communication with another seems more challenging.

The third communication tool is understanding the style of the person which whom you are communicating.  Several of our postings will be closely related to this overarching topic.  Today’s focus will be on the style with which the listener prefers to approach problems. Other posts will discuss even more deep-rooted style issues.  Fundamental to the next several postings in the underlying understanding that easy communication invariably happens as a result of being in “congruence” with the other person or persons involve. Congruence is a derivative of the term “congruent,” which the dictionary defines as “being in agreement or harmony,” or “being identical in form.” When I suggest that we should strive for congruence in our important or challenging communications, I am not saying that we should simply mimic what we hear from the other person, nor am I suggesting that we should parrot them, dress exactly like them, or scratch when they scratch.  What I am saying, however, is that even when one communicates in the same language – in our current case, English – communication unavoidably involves a series of word and metaphor choices and styles and approaches.

Each of us has deeply engrained preferences for word and metaphor choice, pace of communication, accompanying body language, non-verbal supplements to our communication (much more will be said about this in a later posting). Likewise, it is now well established that each of us has the hard-wired propensity connect with the other and on a very unconscious level to share similar responses to similar stimulus.  In fact recent research has revealed that many of the higher primates possess specialized neurons within their brains – mirror neurons – that react in response to connection with another individual.  It has been shown for example, that when one monkey sees another eating a nice piece of juicy fruit, the same parts of the brain react in the observing monkey as in the monkey actually eating the fruit. Thus, the physical reaction and brain areas stimulated are similar in each monkey.  While researchers have not yet isolated and identified mirror neurons in humans, deductively we see similar responses.  Think about it.  How often do you feel compelled to yawn when someone else yawns, as just one example?

As we drill down into this topic, lets start for today’s posting with looking at problem solving or decision-making styles.  Have you ever prepared what you thought was an excellent report or presentation and presented it to someone seemed “underwhelmed” by the work, even though the topic was important and a decision was required? If not, count yourself lucky! If so, read on!

While individuals are far too complex to be easily categorized in boxes and labels, there are many instruments out there that purport to do just that?  What is the utility of labeling someone?  What good does it do to know that someone is of a certain Meyer-Briggs “type” or a certain DiSC^® type? For the average person, these tools as diagnostic instruments are of little value. Yet, as a non-diagnostic indicator of a person’s communication preferences they can be very useful.

For example, most people have some single or combined preference around approaching communications and making a decision or accomplishing a goal.  Regardless of the specific instrument used and its specific labels, people do have their preferences in the way they approach discussions. Let’s look at some of them. Several instruments tend to categorize people generally along the lines of the following four groupings: People who are decisive and want to jump quickly to the solution, sometimes called “drivers.”  Others love to explore the future as it could be and to reach solutions in light of a new approach or creative new solution.  We’ll call these people “creators” for our purposes. Others hold their relationship with others as the single most important aspect of their interactions with them.  These individuals need to “know” and trust the other individual.  They need to feel like they are connected first with the other person before moving forward to work with them and to approach a problem.  For our purposes we will call these people “empaths.”  Finally, some individuals place greater importance on the system and its “rules,” rather than on individual decision-making or creativity, regardless of the level of “connection” with the other. I call these people “systemizers.” They like to work with predictability, rules, and bounded variables. Naturally, these lines can be blurred and people are far too complex to fit neatly into a single category every time.

Further, people often gravitate to certain work and professions, which align with their styles.  Invariably, a room full of CEOs will have a high representation of “drivers” and “creators”  — people who can envision creative solutions and are not afraid to make the call to implement them.  A room full of accountants may have high representation of systemizers.  After all, while we value creative solutions to address new problems, we rarely value “creative accounting!” Counselors and customer service representatives will often have the predominate characteristics of an “empath.”  People whose jobs task them with often “thinking out of the box” or designing new features, products, or solutions have strong “creator” traits. The “creator” trait is often highly represented in jobs such as system designers, architects, futurists, and applied research.

You may ask, “So what does this me? How do I know about me, let alone the other person that you seek to influence?  The answer is that it is actually not that difficult to make educated guesses and to test them as you work with the other person.  Here are a few questions you can ask yourself and use to evaluate the other person:

• Do you like read-aheads and short and to-the-point formal meetings with specific outcomes and very specific timeframes? Is the task the most important thing to address in your meetings? Are deadlines important and real? Do you keep your desk clear and touch things once? Do you feel uncomfortable wasting time on small talk when there is so much to be done?  When you call things as you see them – even if you are blunt – you know it is OK because it is “nothing personal?” It is likely you are a “driver.”

• Are deadlines more of a general goal or suggested target? Do the stacks of paper tend to pile up while you explore options and ideas?  Do you lose read aheads in your office? Do you get excited and enthusiastic and like to spend time in meetings with others talking through the goals and possibilities? Do you see so much more that can be done as an aspect of solving this problem?  It is highly possible your predominant approach to problem solving is as a “creator.”

• Are deadlines firm commitments to be met? Do you sometimes feel stressed if it looks like you might miss one? Is a deep and clear understanding of the parameters of the project important? Is a methodical approach and implementation plan with defined milestones and fixed outcomes important to you? Are governing guidelines and documents important?  It is likely that you have strong “sytemizer” traits.

• Finally, o you care about how others feel and believe that it is important for you to get to know the others that you work with before focusing on tasks? Is it difficult for you to work with someone that you dislike or feel that you can’t trust? Is it important and just good manners for someone to share enough about themselves so that you have a feel for “who they are” and what they like? Are the social aspects of working with a team the most fulfilling part of the team interaction?  You may have strong “empath” traits.

So why is it important to be aware of your own style and the style of another whom you seek to influence?  It can make all the difference.

If you want to influence a boss who is a strong driver, it is likely he or she will appreciate a read-ahead and a very organized, crisp and to-the-point presentation. He may like efficiency in terms of how you present information.  Thus, if you have an opportunity for a snappy pie chart versus a detailed table, so that he or she can quickly get a handle on the issue and make a decision, you may find your interaction goes better.  And, seriously, don’t take blunt criticism personally; the driver doesn’t tend to personalize. He or she may seem angry, but they get over it.

Likewise, if you need a decision from a strongly empathic person, taking the person the same snappy pie chart may be less effective than sharing with them the compelling personal impact or harm that occurs, if the problem is not addressed. Be prepared to start the meeting slowly and spend time in “small talk” so that the individual gains a sense of trust and knowledge about “who you are” as a person.

Likewise the systemizer may honestly appreciate the table with the underlying data, rather than “trusting” you with the high-level data that the pie chart reveals. Don’t expect a hasty decision.  The systemizer may have to mull things over, research, and ponder. A final decision may be scary to the systemizer because of its potential impact on the “system” and the possibility of inadvertently breaking “the rules.”

Finally, if you are meeting with the “creator” bring a spare copy of the read-ahead, because it is likely to have been misplaced.  Anticipate that the meeting may start late because the person may have another commitment running beyond the scheduled time.  Plan that your own meeting may take longer.  Be prepared to brainstorm and envision and be clear about deadlines for things you need.

This discussion is just the beginning on a series of topics designed to help you put together a number of ideas on how better to connect. You will find that many of the future discussions closely link.

If you are curious about your own style, I encourage you to write me and ask for to take my simple styles instrument. Like most other instruments it is not diagnostic, nor is it intended to be, but it may provide a useful start point in your journey towards communication styles self-awareness.

BJM

November 3, 2011

If you have checked in to look for blog updates since mid-summer, you will have undoubtedly noticed that there was silence.  For those waiting for the next posting on relating to the “Twelve Tips for Effective Communication,” it will be posted very soon!  The truth about the delay in recent blog posting is that there has been such a flurry of activity since mid-summer, that it was impossible to support the project initiatives and also tend to the blog – something had give until there was breathing room to catch up!

Here is a summary of the activities that caused the delay in posting more articles on the blog:

Launching a new ombudsman program for a professional association:

Over the course of last spring and this summer I had the pleasure of working with a large professional organization in Albuquerque to help them design a new Ombudsman program that will serve as a resource to help both members of the public and members of the professional organization find information and support and resolve conflicts and issues of concern.  Among other things the support I provided for the new program included:

• Designing the charter statement for the program and meeting with the Board of directors to review the statement, answer questions, and help make final revisions;
• Serving as a Q & A resource in a variety of meetings with the professional membership, and a number of the committees and working groups of this association;
• Developing the program implementation plan, including all the steps for implementation;
• Drafting the ombudsman position description and providing templates for a job advertisement;
• Developing a 20-hour training program that included an overview of the core skills necessary for effectively practicing as an ombudsman in the context of the new program and providing training in an array of advanced communication and rapport-building skills. Part of the support role for the training program included securing other professionals to provide additional depth and breath to the training, so that the resulting program included five expert faculty.
• Designing a case/issue tracking “dashboard,” which will allow the Board and others an instant snapshot of themes and trends as they emerge through the ombudsman program.

The new ombudsman program will become operational within the month and the association is currently interviewing applicants from the pools of individuals who completed the training.

Developing and delivering an Advanced Communications and Settlement Error Avoidance Workshop for the Solicitor’s Office of a large federal agency:

This summer I worked in collaboration with the staff of a large federal agency to design and deliver advanced training to Rocky Mountain regional solicitor’s office for the agency.  The training was attended by 35 attorneys and professional legal support staff and received exceptional evaluations.  The training program was designed to be highly interactive and involved developing a detailed Program Workbook with scenarios, exercises, assessment instruments, settlement error data, and background materials on communication and conflict resolution. We are currently refining the training program so that it can be delivered now nationally.

Providing community facilitation services on controversial national nuclear policy and land-use issues:

Over the summer, I facilitated a series of important public meetings around northern New Mexico involving discussion and review of pending environmental permits at Los Alamos National Laboratory for open detonation, storm water management, individual permit status, status of the Chemistry and Metallurgy Research Replacement (CMRR) laboratory, and the Public hearings for the Environmental Impact Statement public hearings for a possible new plutonium facility at Los Alamos National Laboratory.  These important hearings were often controversial and challenging to facilitate, but it is critical that the public have the opportunity to review the status of information and to provide comment.

Conducting a record number of mediations for private clients, the New Mexico Court system and for federal agencies:

This summer and fall have been extremely busy times for providing mediation services to the courts on cases involving torts and personal injury, home foreclosures, and a wide variety of workplace issues.  It seems that the stresses of the economy and the overall collective attitude of the nation influence our abilities to effectively interact with one another.  I am committed to helping people work through their issues during these tough times.

BJM November 2, 2011