This post takes our discussion beyond the sort of culture-linked areas we have discussed When you think about it, most humans perceive their surroundings through fairly limited channels. Absent a disability, most of us gain information about everything through three principal channels: we see things, we hear things, and we feel things. <\/i>\u00a0<\/b>Seeing and hearing are fairly self-evident senses. Feeling things includes our tactical senses \u2013 for example what we feel when we touch something or something comes in contact with us, things we taste, things we smell, and our feelings when we process something emotionally, such as fear, love, mistrust, anger, and other emotional responses to our interactions with our environment.<\/p>\n Again, absent a disability, all of us use all of our senses in our communications. We watch for non-verbal information, we listen to the words and sounds, and we often convey emotional information using touch itself or a metaphor or compelling story in our conversation. However, each of us tends to have a predominant or preferred style for communicating. This style is often apparent to us only if we think about it.\u00a0 And, it may<\/i> be apparent to others if they are sensitive to the queues that show our subconscious preference.\u00a0 Let\u2019s take, as an example, how we might politely express disagreement with another in a conversation. We might say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but that doesn\u2019t look right to me,\u201d or we might say, \u201c \u2026 that doesn\u2019t sound right to me \u2026 \u201c or we could just as easily say \u201c \u2026 that doesn\u2019t feel right.\u201d\u00a0 When you think about it, there are often three ways to convey agreement or disagreement or to ask for it.\u00a0 For example, \u201cDo you see what I am saying?\u201d \u2026 \u201cDo you hear what I am saying?\u201d \u2026 \u201cDo you feel the same way about this?\u201d<\/p>\n At this level of subconscious word choice, our language is full of visual, auditory, or kinesthetic (a fancy word for feeling-linked) metaphors.\u00a0 We might start a conversation with something like \u201cPicture, if you will a world where \u2026\u201d or we might say something like \u201cI can hear cheering in the streets, if this happens \u2026\u201d or it might be a purely feeling linked statement like \u201cThere is no feeling like freedom!\u201d\u00a0 All of us use various word choices at this level and they are typically a mix of auditory, visual, and kinesthetic.\u00a0 But, regardless of the choices, most of us weight our choice of these subconscious metaphors to one category over the other two categories, and we find it easier to relate to metaphors in that particular category.<\/p>\n So, now think back to how you answered my question about your last vacation.\u00a0 Did you sum up your experience using a visual metaphor, such as the \u201cbeautiful view\u201d or something similar that relies on visual processing? Or, did you recall a sound, such as a particular song? Or was it more of an emotion or feeling-linked response, like the \u201cfeeling of closeness with my family\u201d or something similar? \u00a0This is certainly not a conclusive test, but it may tell you something about your own<\/i> preference. We\u2019ll discuss more clues later in this post.<\/p>\n Other people are sound-focused. They are comfortable learning about things by listening to the speaker, or hearing the particular sound that they want. \u00a0For auditory people, charts and graphs leave them feeling that something is missing.\u00a0 People who are less \u201cvisual\u201d and more \u201cauditory\u201d often prefer to see the information in tables or lists. \u00a0They need an added closeness to the information beyond a graphic.\u00a0 Data in any form often leave the highly \u201ckinesthetic\u201d person cold. (Note the kinesthetic metaphor just used in that description!) What helps them process the information is the \u201cstory.\u201d\u00a0 How does this affect people? What is the impact?\u00a0 Is it fair? Is it unjust? \u00a0Does a change need to happen to prevent this from happening even once?<\/p>\n As a former professional ski instructor, we were conscious of these different learning styles. \u00a0Often we would approach teaching the same technique using three different approaches. \u00a0So, when teaching a student to start using their edges more distinctly at an intermediate level, we might do the same exercise, but one time ask the students to make this particular shape in the snow (which required using edges), or to make your skis make “this” sound (requiring the same use of edges) or finally just asking the students to “do this” while showing them how to move their body so that they would feel the skis grip the snow, using their edges the same way.<\/p>\n At this point, you might ask, \u201cAlright, this all sounds well and good, but it\u2019s hard enough to figure out my own default preferences.\u00a0 How can I possibly know another person\u2019s?\u201d\u00a0 There are a number of clues you can watch for to confirm to yourself what your own processing style preferences may be and to help you guess what another\u2019s processing style preferences are likely to be.\u00a0 A big clue lies in a person\u2019s eye movements during their responses.\u00a0 However, the science of \u201cocculasics,\u201d as it called, is very complex \u2013 too complex to address in this post.\u00a0 Other clues are more obvious.\u00a0 Look for these clues:<\/p>\n Word choice <\/i><\/b>\u2013 <\/i><\/b>what sort of metaphors does the speaker seem to prefer when making general comments?\u00a0 Does he or she fairly consistently use visual terms, like \u201cthe way I see it \u2026\u201d or does the person choose auditory or kinesthetic references, as described above?<\/p>\n Speech patterns and pace<\/i><\/b> \u2013 does the person speak quickly and, along with a lot of visual references, does their speaking style include a lot of vocal inflection (ups and downs)?\u00a0 Are the gestures that accompany his or her dialogue, fairly large, sweeping, and mostly at eye level, as if the person were drawing a picture as they speak?\u00a0 Are they quick to draw diagrams? Likely they are a visual person.<\/p>\n Finally, does the person speak very slowly and deliberately?\u00a0 Is there conversation punctuated with frequent pauses while they appear to search for just the right word?\u00a0 Are their gestures very close, sometimes almost as if they are hugging themselves, or clutching their stomach?\u00a0 If so, they may prefer a more kinesthetic style of communication.<\/p>\n![\"Vacation](\"http:\/\/bizexteam.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/Vacation-2-1-1.jpg\")
<\/a> so far, and deeper into the most sophisticated aspects of congruent communication with others.\u00a0 Let\u2019s start our discussion with a quick and simple question. Think about your last vacation.\u00a0 What stands out to you most? For example it might be the beautiful sunset you saw looking out over the ocean in Malibu, or it could be the sound of marimbas wafting up the beach during your last Caribbean trip, or, perhaps it was something as simple as a delicious meal or the closeness you felt visiting a close family member.\u00a0 Take a moment and write down in just two or three words what stood out the most.<\/p>\n<\/a>I myself am a highly \u201cvisual\u201d person.\u00a0 All things being equal, I tend to use visual word choices and visual imagery when I communicate. When I prepare presentations, or someone is sharing information with me, I like my information packaged visually.\u00a0 If I need to know the breakdown of the cases, or something similar, I find it easier to process that information visually through, for example, a nice, clear pie chart or some other graphic that captures all of the information.<\/p>\n<\/a>Does the person speak in a more mono-tonal style with less inflection and a somewhat slower pace?\u00a0 Do they tend to use tighter, more subtle gestures that mainly occur at their chest to belt level?\u00a0 Do they prefer to display information in tables or columns? Do they fairly consistently use auditory metaphors, such as \u201cthe thing that made it click for me was \u2026\u201d If so, they find it comfortable to work in the auditory realm of communication.<\/p>\n